Bumholeys,Rain and my human crutch
by ive-gone-all-jelliod
Summary: Set after sitnop.Lots of aggerz but it will get nicer.I'm very Gee Dave and anti Masimo as is everyone on here probably.So enjoy.xChapter 7 now up R&R Becky xx
1. Don't cry over spilt hairspray

**Bumholeys,rain and my human crutch**

**Set after sintop straight into some aggerz but it does get better I promise.Please review and I really hope you enjoy it. Bye xxOkay this was so much longer and I manged to delete it 3 times and its half twelve so sorry its so insanely short.**

Don't cry over spilt hair spray.

Saturday, 10 pm, floor, wet.

All on my lonely lonesome. My bum-holey feels wet I think once again it may be broken. Why is it always me left wet and bottomless. From now on I will never mention Dave the laugh again.Never.He has once again been askewed with a firm hand and there he shall stay.

2 minutes later,

It was quite brave of him to fight for me though. He is like a knight without all the silverness and round table fandango and with considerably better nip libbling skills. Go away Dave out of my brain. I should be thinking about my sort of I don't know anymore boyfriend Masimo. My luurve God may or may not have dumped me. Well one thing for sure he definitely had number 10 on the having the hump scale. Maybe I should try and find him.

30 seconds later,

Ouch! I actually have no bum holey. This isn't fair.And where are my supposed friends? With their boyfriends that's where. Does no one care about Georgia Nicolson? That's it tomorrow I'm off to the nunnery, let's face it there's no chance of Mutti and vatti missing me, maybe Libby but I'll soon be replaced by a moulding carrot.

5 minutes later,

Humph I will have to get up now. It is all dark here and I can here rustling. Joy it's probably the vole couple rooting for twigs.

"Kittykat? Why are you on the floor?"I felt my red bottom flare up. Joy Dave was here. Dave who I am firmly eschewing with a very firm hand. Glaciosity at all time Georgia glaciosity at all times.

"Oh hello Dave I was just examining some very interesting err ants."I say in what I like to think was a very attractive voice, that's what I like to think. But Dave laughed and said

"You've been spending too much time with the vole couple". Cheeky cat, hmmm Dave is tres groovy looking though. No red bottom go down go down.

"Where's your girlfriend Kittykat? Is she tired from all the fisticuffs'? Oh dear I don't know where he is but I will show all maturiosity in front of Dave.

3 minutes later,

Dave shoulder is quite nice to cry on really. He said

"Come on Kitty cat lets not cry over spilt hair spray I'll take you home."Aaaw He is quite cute really as a matey type thingy ma giggly. So I said

"Dave that is quite cute of you as a matey type fandango "and he looked at me really unlaughy and then said "It's only because I'm attracted to your mum."Cheeky cat I shall ignore him as soon as he stops being my human crutch and I arrive home to my loving family. He shall be left standing at my door.

Half an hour later,

In bed being tucked in by Dave.

"Sleep tight Kittkat don't let the beddy bugs bite, or Angus I'm pretty sure I tucked him in to."

I giggled in a giggly type way and Dave walked to the door and then said a bit seriously

"I love you Gee, don't you ever forget that."Oh my giddy gods pyjama's he said it again he said the L word and in a serious person way to. Well I shall never get to sleep now.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


	2. Red bikini wearing minx!

**Heya. Wow that chappie was so short. But all the others are going to be much longer because I'm not going to delete them this time. Well at least not 3 times.**

**Anyway this is going to be a bit sad but I think a laugh may be able to save the day once again.**

10:30Am, Phone ringing.

I'm going to have to answer that.

Even though I am clearly emotionally bereaved. It might be the luurve God calling to dump me.Oh but I don't want him to dump me. Maybe I'll wear my bikini, you know for confidence.

One minute later

Got to the phone just in time to find Jaz huffing away.

"Gee are you finally there?"How rude if I wasn't on a phone I would _ignorez vous_ her.

"Yes Jaz it is what do you want?"

"Have you died your hair black and got a nice tan Georgia?"What in the name of Slims undercrackers was she talking about?

"Ugh no Jaz."I said and Jaz huffed, stop huffing you huffy thing!

"Well ugh Gee yesterday after the fisticuffs Masimo went off on his scooter with a pizza ago go type girl. And they seemed quite close. And he wasn't wearing a helmet."

"Oh my God!"

"I know its so dangerous, I'm glad you weren't on that scooter."

"Goodbye Jaz."I hung up.

10 minutes later.

Lying on the floor. Why would my Italian boyfriend be getting on a bike with a pizza type girl. He wouldn't do that to me. Would he? It could have been his sister, or his mum, but Jaz said they seemed quite close. Oh my life is so so unfair. Why would you do this to me Lord Sandra? Why?

I'm going to ring him. It will straighten out a few things, like how the girl he rode off with was his brother.

Phone ringing.

Oh the tensionosity.

"Ciao?"

"Masimo, its Georgia."

"Aagh right. We need to err speak _si_?"

"Yes can you meet me at the clock tower in 5 minutes?"

"_Si _okay ciao Belle."

Wow no sign of the mad brain. Maybe it is on vacation. You know to my foot or something. Is that where brains go? Surely I would have felt it.

One second later

Yeah crazy brains still around. Anyway make up, its quite early so I'll go for just tumbled out of bed look. So lippy, eyeliner, bronzer and just a tiny bit of concealer. For once in my life I am a lurker free zone. Okay I'm going for the skirt and yellow halter.

No white shorts.

Skirt.

Shorts

I am in the skirt. And there I shall stay.

Walking to clock tower.

Wearing the shorts and looking quite groovy in a vair nervy way.

When I got there Masimo was there. Looking oh so gorgey but a bit sad. He saw me and waved.

I immediately went jellied.

"Ciao belle I think we need to err speakio" I followed him to sit on the curb, the curb I tell you how romantic. Not.

"Jaz said she saw you with a pizza type girl. Is she your sister?"Oops I just said that aloud. Masimo's face went all sad.

"No Cara she is my other girlfriend. She come to England for to talk, her marriage it not work and she how do you say wants me still."Oh no! This was it dumped by my luurve God for a red bikini wearing minx.

"Oh right I"

"But Georgia I think that we both like the other people."I looked confused at him and he said "Dave the laugh, he is not just your fighting partner _si?"_I shook my head. And Masimo smiled.

"It was good while it lasted but our hearts are in different places. I will miss you Miss crazy lady."I sobbed a little bit and he touched my arm and walked off.

11:30Am,

Still sat on the curb. What did Masimo mean about Dave the laugh? I didn't like him we were just mates. And occasional snogging partners. But he was a vair talented snogger infact it was because of him that lip nibbling was introduced.

"Georgia? Are you alright?"I turned around it was Tom closely followed by Dave.

"Me and Masimo just broke up."

"Oh yeah I heard about him and well yeah."Tom said, Dave was stood behind him but he wasn't talking infact he looked a bit miz."Not a good day for couples then is it Dave?"

"No it's not really. Anyway I'm going to head off you know people to see old ladies to rob."Dave said, I nodded to Tom then followed Dave.

"So kittycat are you groovy okay?"He said it in an unlaughy way.

"Yeah I am, weirdly but Dave you don't look to groovy."

"I just dumped Emma. It wasn't very nice."He said.

"Why Dave?" Yes the nice girlfriend was gone he was single! Hang on did I just say that. No it wasn't me just someone else.

"I told her I was just using her as a red herring. And that I really liked someone else."

"Who?"My acting really was top notch I must say.

"I don't know but it didn't work."

"What?"

"The red herring thing." He said then he started to turn to walk a different way.

"I think it did."What what was I saying?

"It did?"

"If you're talking about what I'm thinking then yes but if you're talking about Ellen or something that's cool with knobs on infact more than that..."Then I had to stop because Dave snogged me.

10 minutes later

Yummy yum. That was vair vair good. We did 4, 5, 6 and bit of 6 and a half. And obviously my old friend lip nibbling. I sort of groaned and fell against Dave and now he's looking down at me. His eyes are really quite gorgey I could get lost in them.

"I hate to tell you this kittycat but there are currently two elderly ladies trying to get past and we are taking up the valuable pavement." The ladies coughed. "Fancy us getting in the way of to young sexy ladies Kittycat."The old people giggled at Dave. God he was so bloody confident even with old ladies.

"Seriously please tell me you don't have the horn for old people. Because I have to draw the line at oldy/laughy porn" Dave laughed

"No I am just vair vair charming and gorgeous sometime it can be very hard."H said then added "Anyway I'm away laughing on fast camel thanks for cheering me up Gee it was very cool."

And he walked off, just like that after all that snogging how ungroovy is that. And oh my giddy gods yfronts did I just accidently tell Dave that I liked him? Oh dear me I am going to crawl into a hole and die right here.


	3. She snogs like you Gee!

**Hello, I've just been to get braces I said in my diary no one will want to snog me now and my Dad read it (I know!)And he said "I think you should keep them on for 5 years and wait to snog after that." yes my vatti actually said snog. I am scarred for life literally.**

**Anyway I'm trying to be strict with myself and not make Gee and Dave be all perfect it is vair hard!!R&R Becky x**

2:00pm

When I got in Vatti came out wearing leather shorts. Leather short I tell you! He said

"Where have you been? There was no note you could have been stolen."

I said "I'm sorry to disappoint you Vatti." He just shook his head and leathered out.

I must ring Jaz Vis a vie the Dave snogging situation, she will probably shake a twig at me but I am willing to accept that.

2:30pm

Rang Jaz and Tom was there. Joy the vole couple reunited against my red bottom. Tom said that Dave seemed a lot cheerier when he saw him after our little err meeting witch involved no snogging. I said in a casualnosity at all time sort of voice

"Oh really well I wouldn't know as I was err on the tube at that time."

"Georgia, don't use the train story again I saw you go off with him and when he came back he was very happy." Really well maybe it is because I am le perfect snogger Tom.

"I did not snog Dave the laugh when we were walking home."

"I never said you did."Tom laughed. Stop laughing I am the laugher here.

"I know I was just err can I speak to err Jaz please."

"Sure Ellen" How dare he insinuate that I was Ellen. I do not stutter like a urm stuttering thing?

"Jaz."

"What?"

"I'm not getting into the what thing now Jaz. I Snogged Dave again because we are both single type people now. But then he walked off."

"Blimey."

"I know so now I am in the bakery of love."

"Blimey"

"Jaz"

"What"

"Don't say Blimey."

She hung up. My best friend hung up on me when I was in a life crisis. How selfish is that? Very that's how. Could my life be anymore hellish?

One minute later.

Obviously it can because mum has just come mumming in and is sat next to me on my bed. What fresh hell? I said

"Mutti I know you need rest because of carrying round your nunga's around but please don't not sit on my bed." She just tutted at me.

"Are you okay Georgia? you seem a bit down." She said. Did she actually care for me? Ha I just thought how funny that sounded imagine Mutti caring for me. "Is it the Italian stallion?"

"We broke up."

"Why he was quite categorically gorgey?" Thanks mutti rub it in.

"Because we both liked different people."

"Aagh Dave the laugh." How did mum know about Dave and me? Has she got a touch of the mystic Meg about her? I hope not I don't want her reading my mind I may have to start thinking in code.

10PM

Mutti has gone; thank god she was starting to freak me out. Well I say starting to but she was just freaking me out. Alot. My brain is working over time. What did Dave the laugh say? It was a bit like see you later? He was all lip nibble lip nibble then alright I'm off. It seems vair strange even for the laughy man. That was some top notch snogging infact if we hadn't been rudely interrupted by Dave's elderly girlfriends we would never of stopped. I may have to accidently bump into him tomorrow. But I must turn off my brain now otherwise I will never get to zzzzzzzz.

11:00Am

Up at the crack of dawn and awoken to Libby shouting at my head.

"GET UP BAD BOY! FOR CHRIST SAKE BREAKKIE'S READY!" How does she learn that language? My question was answered when Vatti shouted,

"For Christ's sake Connie you baked my tie!" I walked downstairs to find Vatti in the hall with Dave. Oh my giddy god's pyjamas I have no makeup on and once again I'm wearing my telly tubbie jim jams. Dave looked a bit startled when he saw me so I ran upstairs to get changed.

Two seconds later.

Okay lippy mascara eyeliner on. Now for clothes oh no I can hear Dave coming up the stairs I'll just put my dressing gown on.

"Hey kittycat nice pyjamas!" Dave did his crinkly smile at me. I sucked in my nostrils and smiled back.

"Hey Dave what can I do for you?" I am so full of maturiosity infact sometimes I am so mature I surprise myself.

"How about some more snogging?" Cheeky cat. Well no I'm not going to give in to you laugh tempt me all you want it will not work.

One minute later.

Snogging Dave again. Yum he really is a great snogger. We did some 4, a quick stop at five then right on to 6! Then Dave pulled away.

"For someone who wasn't going to snog me that was top notch!" He is so confident sometimes.

"I was not snogging you it was just infact your mind playing tricks on you. As I am so very full of sex kittyness." Dave laughed

"That you are sexkitty."And then he snogged me again, it was vair fabby and edging on marvy. And that's when Libby walked in.

"Dave the laugh my turn!" And she started snogging Dave's knees. Oh my God! Why couldn't I have had a normal family! But then again Dave isn't actually normal so I don't think he minded. Infact he said something vair strange

"Wow Gee she snogs just like you!" I just gawped at him "Ugh Libby down now yeah?" and amazingly Libby growled and left, Aaaw Dave is good with children, well if you can call Libby a child. I was still staring at him so he said

"Now where were we Kittycat?" No that's it I am putting my foot down with a firm hand.

"I was not snogging you and you were telling me why your actually here." He nodded

"Who says I'm not here because of the snogging?"

"Me. Now talk or no more snogs. Ever."

"You wouldn't dare?" Really Mr laughy man wouldn't I.

"You better believe it." Dave moved towards me and gave me a tres groovy look and he held my shoulders, I could feel my lips puckering. Dave rubbed his nose on mine and then snogged me just number 4 but phoaar it was nice. But then he pulled away and went.

"Told you!" Damn I can't believe I did that. Damn you Dave and your kissing skills.

"Nungh."Oh joy I had gone jelliod! Hang on did I just say that Dave the laugh had made me jelliod!

"Great come back Gee." He went and sat on my bed and ran his hand through his hair. He patted the space next to him so I sat down.

"Yesterday did you mean what I thought you did?" I didn't even know what I meant yesterday. But Dave had just made me go jelliod and he was vair funny and nice and not to mention groovy looking.

"I did." Oops I didn't mean to say that.

"Well that's cool I'll get going now then Kittycat." What he was leaving again? He couldn't leave me dangling in the bakery of love.

"Dave, you can't just go I just confessed my horn specific wise for you."

"Yeah I know Georgia" Oh no,he never called me Georgia unless he was being the unlaughy. "And it makes me very happy but also a bit miz because you could be lying."

"Why would I lie Dave?"

"You've done it before Georgia and now I don't know if I can trust you." Oh Dave I do like you please believe me I would never use you like I did before. That is what I must say.

"Dave I was a bit pants before but now the pant is on the other foot and I definitely won't use you again I swear on the baby Jesus." Dave laughed.

"Oh Gee you are good value. I know I do trust you."

"So?"

"So I will see you later." And then he left.

One second later

He said see you later. Once again I am faced with the question of when is later and what on earth does it mean. And also why doesn't Dave trust me? I know I used him as a red herring once but I don't want to do that again. Infact I may have only just realised it but I want him as an official type snoggee. Rather alot. Well that's it I am just going to grab the bull by its horns (ooer) and make him mine.


	4. Dave can't act!

**Hello! Ouch! My brace is on and I cannot eat it hurts my mouth holey! Anyway thanks for reviewing and sorry for my ever so silly mistake on chappie 2. I read it and I couldn't believe I left out the snogginess. Guh!**

**Okay I'm going all out on the ace gang front wich I've been looking forward to especially Rosie! R&R Becky xx**

**p.s Tommy Bastow Dave the laugh phoaar!!**

10:30 Am

Quite literally up at the crack of dawn for the process of make Dave luurve me witch will hopefully end in lip nibbling. Anyway I am meeting with the Ace gang at Roro's house for snacks and then we are going to look for Dave. So I am in mature clothes that are sensible for a laughy man. Are stiletto's taking it too far?

11:30 Am

Walking to Rosie's. I decided against the stilettos as Dave is not too tall and I don't want to have to do crouchy downsies again. He's not that short though infact you could say he was perfect height.

I was just pondering Dave's height when a horrific sight appeared in front of me, Mark big gob and god save me junior blunder boy. They walked past and Mark went.

"Hello girls!" To my nunga's ugh how naff then Junior blunder had a laughy spaz and went

"Good one Mark. You spoke to her thingy's." And then he looked at me "Hey my bitch." Oh dear got in himmel I cannot believe I let Mark big gob touch my nunga and also that I have seen juniors boxers.

One second later

Out of head now!

Never again never! I have a nice laugh to keep me company now. Or do I? Oh well my plan is bound to work it is fool proof believe me I've tried it on Jaz. Ha ha oh how I amuse myself!

12:00Pm

At Rosie's eating Jammy Dodgers and going over the plan. Rosie has arranged to meet Sven and he has invited the boys i.e. Dave the laugh. Then I mysteriously appear and bump into him and he see's me and thinks there she is my gorgey sex kitty who I love! You see it is vair good, but Jaz seems to disagree. She said

"Why do you always have to stalk boys Gee? I mean you stalked Robbie and Masimo."

"My bestest Pally I am not stalking him I am just accidently bumping into him."

"And then let the lip nibbling begin!"Mabs finished.

Jaz just shook her head and looked all miss huffy knickers. We all stared at her and at each other .

"So err you and err Dave are you know like?"Ellen ellened along

"A pair of lederhosen?" Rosie said

"No like you know err luurved up or like something?"

"Well Ellen we are not sure although Dave did say that he was happy that Georgia here liked him but he might just be a bit full of himself and like that."Joolz told her.

"Urgh right so?"

"Ellen stop stammering we need to go!" I said and Rosie jumped up.

"Yes let the Dave baiting begin, because alls fair in PANTS and war." And she stormed out and we quickly followed.

Half an hour later.

At the park, no sign of the boys.

"Don't worry I bought Jammy Dodgers Sven will be able to smell them." Rosie said

"No he won't Rosie he may be a Viking but his nose isn't vair big not like mine and why are you wearing your beard?"

"The question is mon pally why are you not wearing your beard? And I told you the dodgers would work."She pointed over my shoulders and there was Sven screaming towards us. He picked up a jammy dodger shoved it in his mouth and kissed Rosie. Erlack! Snack snogging.

The other boys were following Sven and the gang were all having spaz attacks, I ofcourse was full of dignity. The boys all sat down with us Declan with Ellen, Rollo with Joolz and Mabs well Mabs was off somewhere already with Edward.

"Hey Jaz I saw some bark on that tree over there do you want to see it?"

"Ofcourse I do Tom" She giggled and went off leaving me with Dave, no surprise there then.

"Hello Kittycat."

"Hello laughy man"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes I am."

"Why are we talking like normal people?" I laughed

"Because we are not Rosie and Sven perhaps?" Dave nodded.

"Yeah he sat on my shoulders most of the way here and I will tell you this for free Kittycat that Viking is not light!"

"Oh dear did the little Davey hurt his ickle shoulders?"

"Hey flirty! And yes I did would you like to kiss them better?" Ha cheeky cat! Maybe my plan was working now to say something witty and hilarious.

"Ha is my uncle Eddie bald?"What what?

"So that's a yes." I just shrugged."Aagh playing hard to get Georgia but you must know that I like that." I was ignorez vousing him, mainly because my brain was not connected to my mouth but I like to pretend it was because I was being mysterious.

"Gee? Why are you ignores vousing me I know you think your being mysterious but you look a bit like a fish." At the moment Rosie and Sven surfaced.

"Did someone say fish?"Rosie said.

"No stopping more snogging yaaa!"And Sven put Rosie on his back and they ran off. Dave was looking at me when I turned back around. I looked at him back but I let my eye trail down his nose and linger on his lips, Dave sighed at me and his lips actually puckered up. Tee he I was a boy entrancing vixen. Dave leaned in to snog me but I leaned backwards. Dave groaned.

"Dave?"

"Yes sexkitty?"

"Are we ever going to snog maybe officially?"

"What like official snogging partners?"

"Yeah."

"Are you asking me out kittycat?"

"No. Just wondering."

"Well I think that maybe I would have to ask you."

"Oh that would be cool." Yeah! With knobs on. But Dave had got up and walked off stop walking off you walking thing! I stared after him and then he turned around. What in the name of slims oversized undercrackers was he doing? He walked right up to me.

"Hello Georgia how are you doing? I've just been looking for you." What was he doing I said

"What are you doing?" Dave just did big eyes at me so I said "Oh hello Dave I'm doing fine. Why were you looking for me?"

"Well I wanted to ask you something?" Nope, I still don't know what he's going on about.

"Yes?"

"Will you be my official snogging partner?" Ohh now I get it he's asking me out. Oh my giddy Gods pyjama's Dave the laugh just asked me out. Me, Dave going out? Wow! Yes! Yes I will go out with him. Georgia say it out loud say it out loud. I said

"Nungh!"

"Nungh?"

"Yes I will be your official snogging partner."

"Great! Now let's make it official."And he snogged me softly at first but then quite hard.

10 minutes later

Still snogging lying down on the grass. How vair vair groovy it is to be here with my boyfriend Dave that's right my boyfriend because he is my boyfriend don't you know.


	5. How roPANTic!

**Let the fun begin now I can do some lovely jubly Gee Dave scenes! Finally he he. Thanks for reviewing it make me happy! **

**R&R Becky xx**

3:00Pm

Walking home with Dave, holding hands. Dave's hand is quite big (ooer). I said to Dave

"You have big hands Dave!" He winked at me and then said

"Well you know what that means Kittycat!" Cheeky cat! I gave him a wide eyed look and he did his crinkly smile. Wow he was so vair groovy looking. He stopped walking and looked at me and held my hands. I smiled at him

"Why me Gee? You had an Italian stallion even if he was gay and you chose me."

"Because your vair funny and nice and you are categorically groovy looking" I thought about it a bit then said "And your lip nibbling is vair nice." He laughed and kissed my head, Hmm head kissing?

"Why thank you kittycat I'm glad my lip nibbling techniques please you. Would you like a demonstration?"

"Hang on tell me why you like me first." Yes then on to the nibbling!

"Well you are vair good comedy value. And you're very nice. Not to mention totally gorgeous, a very good snogger and I luurve your nose." There must be something very wrong with Dave if he likes my gigantabus nose. But he was vair nice about me so I will forgive him his strangeness.

"You're so mad Dave!"

"No your mad Gee"

"You're mad"

"You're mad"

Tickly bears! Surprise, surprise.

"Dave stop it stop it! I'm so ticklish!" I laughed like a urm laughing thing.

"Alright kittycat." And he snogged me straight onto 6. Yummy scrumboes! I did some 6 ¾ and he made a little groany noise and nuzzled my neck. I wrapped my arms round his neck and pulled him towards me. He sort of picked me up and span me around. And that's when we fell over.

10 minutes later

Me and Dave are on the floor laughing like loons. I'm sort of on top of Dave, I guess I must look attractive from an upside down view because Dave won't let me go.

"Ouch my back! I think I've broken it!" Dave said "Will you kiss it better sexkitty?"

"No but I will kiss you better." And I pulled him up so we were both sitting and gave him number 5 and nibbled his lip a little bit.

"Hey stop stealing my moves!" Dave said mid snog, I giggled and said

"Hey stop snogging!" So of course we carried on.

7:30pm

When I got home Mutti and Vatti were having a major argument.

"It's not my fault we have different interests Bob!"

"Oh I'm sorry Connie did I upset you by not going to aerobics and watching your friends pee in the pool!"

"Well at least I don't spend me day repairing feather codpieces."

Oh joy un abound why don't they realise the best thing for all of us is a divorce. It is only fair and I could do with some spendaroonies. I wonder if I could persuade Vatti to give me this month's child support early. Then I could buy some new natural looking lip-gloss for stalag 14. Witch reminds me I must go to sleep early because my boyfriend is meeting me after school tomorrow so I must get some beauty sleep. After cleansing and toning of course.

10:30Pm ,All tucked up in bed.

Libby has just come stomping in with her "Fwends" This includes Gordy who is wearing a rather fetching beret.

Hang on that's my beret! I said

"Libby that is my school beret Georgie needs it for tomorrow can I have it back." She just slapped my hand and said,

"Bad Ginger! Gordy's hat! Go bed now Libby here!"

So I am once again given a millimetre of my bed and have pantalisers head in my bum holey. Well I will never get to sleep now Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Monday,8:35Am

Oh my giddy god I'm late, no time for neutral makeup and I will have to get the cat hair off of my beret as I walk.

Good, good Jaz is waiting for me at the end of the road. Oh dear she looks a bit huffy. How unusual. Not. I smiled attractively at her and said.

"Hello best Pally I have some great news." She just said

"I know Tom already told me. I can't believe you didn't tell me!" Oh dear this calls for a major de huff operation. I linked up with her so she couldn't huff off and told her the whole story including Dave saying he liked my nose.

"So he said he liked your nose?"

"Yes Jaz."

"Maybe it's because he always sees it up close because he's always snogging you so he has gotten to know it better." Hmmm I hadn't of thought of it like that. I also see my nose up close alot but I don't like it. This is proof that Dave is criminally insane.

"Georgia Nicolson what have you done to your beret it needs a good wash!" Slim Our reverend headmistress said.

"Blame my cat!" I said and we walked into school.

Prayers

We are using our prayer time well and discussing Dave the laugh and I.

"So you are you know err like official or something Amen." Ellen asked

"Yes we are amen"

"What number did you get up to amen" Trust Mabs to be snog obsessed.

"6 and ¾ amen."

"Ooer amen."

"Indeed amen."

When we were leaving assembly wet Lindsay stood in front of me

"Take a bad conduct mark for having a furry beret Nicolson is that why Masimo finally saw the light and dumped you?"

"No Lindsay it is not and he didn't dump me we broke up together. Now if you excuse me I've got a laugh to think about."

"Slut."Lindsay said. Honestly if that is the kind of behaviour we are expected to look up to the world is very wrong. We did some disco inferno behind her back on the way to German.

3:45pm

Rushing to the loo's to apply makeup and bouncify my hair. The whole Ace gang are with me in there as their boyfriends will probably pop up (ooer) to.

Okay we are looking gorgeous and ready to face the world; we did linky upsies and walked across the playground. I looked towards the gates and Robbie was there he smiled at me and waved.

The whole ace gang walked over to where he was, oh he had gorgey eyes but I didn't like them, not anymore.

"Hey Georgia long time no speak how are you?" The ace gang just looked at me.

"Hi Robbie I am doing fine thank you."

"Good because I heard about you and Masimo and I was just wondering if maybe..." Dave came up behind Robbie and I smiled really big. Dave hugged me really tight and kissed my cheek.

"Hey kittycat, you're looking gorgeous." He was really smiling. Then Robbie said from behind him.

"Oh right, hi Dave you alright mate?" He shook Dave's hand and they did that weird boy thing where they grunt and nod stuff loudly. Then Robbie said

"Alright then bye Gee." And scootered off. I wonder what he was going to say. How peculiar. We started walking off and Dave said

"What was he saying to you?"

"I don't know he said something about Masimo and he was wondering."

"I'm going to have my work cut out keeping you Gee."

"No you're not because I love you." Oh my giddy god's pudding I just told Dave I loved him, not luurve or matey type love but love L.O.V.E love!

"Well that's just as well because I happen to love you too." Rosie ran past shouting

"Ohh isn't it roPANTic!"


	6. Return of Il ministrone

**Bonjour cava? Well I thought I better get some Froggy in seeing as I have taken the evil subject at GCSE (cest ce la point?). I may add some aggerz soon just to keep you all in suspensiness. Teehee I' m so evil. Thanks for reviewing it does make as happy as a happy thing. Sorry I'm being a tad loony but I have just had a great idea for another fic and I can't wait to write it. Anyhow R&R Becky xx**

4:00pm

The Ace gang and boys are all crowded round Rosie she fell over whilst she was running madly and knocked herself out on the pavement.

"Tom and I know first aid, we learnt it at camp. Stand back please Rollo."Vole girl said, Rollo got out of the way and Jaz leaned down really close and put her ear against Roro's face. Rosie saw her opportunity and shouted really loudly in Jaz's ear,

"Jaz I am not on the turn! Now For PANTS sake don't come to close." Jaz jumped back and Rosie tried to stand up. I say tried, she kind of went all wobbly and nearly fell over again. Luckily Dave and Sven caught her and carried her home. It would have looked reasonably normal if Dave and Sven weren't making siren noises and Rosie wasn't shouting

"Pants, Pants a kingdom for my PANTS!" What is it with her and pants? I ask you, oh yes that's right they are incredibly funny. I feel a bit of a gosegog now, everyone else has boyfriends and I'm all alone. But Dave was being a vair nice boy and looking after Rosie, maybe he will be a doctor when he's older I don't think I'd like that he might loose all his madness and be all diseased. I must tell him to keep being a comedian.

4:10Pm

Home alone, as usual. I've said it once and I will say it again my parents do not care. But I have grown to expect it over the years. Hopefully when they get divorced I won't have to put up with this.

One minute later

Phones ringing, I'll answer it. I have nothing better to do and it might be Dave.

"Hello future wife of Florence Nightingale."

"Who are you planning on marrying kittycat? Because it seems you are on the turn."It was Dave of course I like hearing his voice it gives me the slight horn.

"Hello hornmeister, I was just thinking that after today's events you might want to be a doctor but I think you should stick to your career as a funny man."

"Shall I tell you a secret Kittycat. I can't stand the sight of blood."

"Really?"

"Yes but don't tell anyone and anyway you provide to much comedy material for me Gee."

"Ugh thanks Dave."

"Quite alright. I was ringing to apologise for not seeing you home today and to tell you that you are very gorgeous." Aaaw my lovely boyfriend Dave thought I was gorgeous, I admire honesty!

"You are to kind Dave."

"I know it just comes easily being around you. Anyway can I come round I'll be good. I know your mum wants to see me." Could I risk mutti shaking her nunga's at Dave?

"Sure Dave come over whenever just don't look at Vatti's lederhosen "Dave laughed and said

"I'll look forward to it. And Georgia I love you." And he hung up. I did a shortened version of disco hornpipe and ran upstairs to apply makeup.

10 minutes later

Okay I'm wearing my tight jeans and a blue strappy top with foundation, lippy mascara, eyeliner and just a hint of bronzer for a sexy tanned like look.

The door bell has just rung.

Oh God mutti has answered I can here her mumming along. I will have to save Dave from the nunga's.

"Hi Dave!" I said he looked at me like when you have just woken up and smiled.

"Hello kit- Georgia."

"Are you staying for tea Dave cos it's totally wack with me if you want to." Wack? Wack? What in the name of arse was she talking about?

"Thanks Mrs. Nicolson that would be cool." He said and he followed her into the sitting room.

"Dave don't go in there that's were my vatti and insane sister are."

"Well the lesbian introduced himself so I'm going to too." Oh dear it's going to be il minestrone again. We walked into the lounge and Vatti was stood by the fireplace once again with a cigar in his hand. What fresh hell?

"Aagh hello you must be David. I am Bob you may call me Mr Nicolson."

"Hello Mr Nicolson lovely day for it." I don't think Dad knew what Dave was going on about, infact I don't think Dave knew what he was going on about.

"Take a seat Georgia, Dave."Dad stood in front of us. "You two are Urgh together now?"

"Yes sir we made it official." Dave nudged me and I snorted.

"So Dave tell me a bit about yourself."

"Well I am in year 11 like Gee and I live about 20 minutes away and I go to Foxwood."

"Aagh do you behave yourself there. Have you done anything bad?" Dave looked down and coughed.

"You know maybe something with a for sale sign and perhaps some turning lights off in theatre's but no nothing really bad." I have a feeling that Dave is quite a bad boy at school because he looked a bit guilty when he was saying that. Well I like a bad boy, hehe I'm so naughty.

Half an hour later.

Dave has left and my Vatti has given him his blessings. Blessings I ask you, it is not like we are getting married. I wonder if I will marry Dave. It would be double cool with knobs on if I did. Hopefully our children will get his nose. Anyway where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself? Oh yeah Dave was leaving when vatti brought up Masimo.

"Of course before you there was the Italian stallion Dave." Dave laughed and said

"Yes but he probably fancied you more than Georgia Mr Nicolson." Vatti looked a bit weirdly at Dave and shooed us out of the door. I said

"Congratulations Dave I think my Vatti may like you."

"I'm very pleased about that because I wouldn't like it if I couldn't see you anymore." Dave is quite romantiqio sometimes I said

"Dave you are quite romantiqio sometimes."

"I know I am" And he picked me up and snogged me right there. It would of been vair groovy if I hadn't seen Mutti and Vatti's heads floating in the window.

**Little bit short, but leading on into the insane family of Dave next yay!!**


	7. You've shown me ures I'll show you mine

**Family laugh! Yessum I've been looking forward to writing this chappie for ages. It should be a laugh.**

**And my new fic is of course Dave and Gee, infact even more than this one. I'm going to upload it straight after this so look out for it its called**

"**Confessions of a laughy man" you may guess what it's about from the title. But anyway, Becky stay on the right story! R&R cos I luurve to read the reviews because as I have said before they make me happy! Enjoy,**

7:30 Am

Up nice and early for once I will just close my eyes for a millisecond and Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

8:30Am

Oh god, rush rush pant pant. I can actually see Jaz flicking her fringe from here and I am at least 6 crouching Rosie's away.

"Come on Georgia I don't want to be late again."

"I am not late Jaz I am quite clearly early." Jaz just huffed off. Huff on my friend I don't mind I have much more important things to do than try to de huff you.

"Kittycat!" I got a funny feeling in my stomach. It was Dave, of course. Hmmm he looks quite nice and early morningish in his uniform. His tie was about half way down his chest and his hair was all ruffled. He gave me a quick snog and I pulled his tie up to a nearly decent level. Gosh who was I Slim?

"No! Kittycat you're making me look like a categorical geek. Rollo will out scruff me." He moaned. I looked at him from under my eyelashes and he smiled. "Anyway Kittycat meet me outside school tonight."

"Alright. Now kiss me quick before my reverend headmistress see's."

"I used to have a hat that said that..."

"Georgia Nicolson unless you want to have 3 bad conduct marks under your belt after 2 days I suggest you leave that boy alone!" Oh go grow another chin or something Slim. I waved goodbye to Dave and skipped passed Slim smiling she just looked suspicious. Honestly you are guilty until proven innocent at this school.

Last lesson, English.

Miss Wilson is dithering along at the front; honestly she could give Ellen a run for dither queen. We can here a fire alarm coming from Fox woods but I am to busy to care. I have applied a nice layer of 

natural makeup so I can now have a nice little kip. Jaz is nudging me, stop nudging me you nudgy thing I said

"Jaz I am trying to sleep." She just looked at me all huffy and said.

"Just to let you know Georgia I am ignorez vousing you." What fresh hell? Why was she ignorez vousing me? I am the innocent party here. Well let the ignoring begin Vole woman.

3:30Pm

Walking across the playground with the gang. Still ignorez vousing Jaz. We can see the boys they are all there apart from Dave.

When we got there Rollo handed me a note before going off to snog Joolz. It said.

Kittykat,

Its Dave by the way cos I bet Rollo's to busy off snogging Joolz to tell you. Anyway I have been given a detention from the Nazi patrol for some stupid thing involving a fire alarm. Anyway meet me at the clock tower at six and cover your nunga nunga's! Because you've shown me yours so I'm going to have to show you mine. (Ooer) Georgia I know what you are thinking and don't be so disgusting I am talking about my family.

Lots of snogs Dave xxx

Oh buggeration on high I have to meet Dave's family and judging by Dave they must be vair mad. What should I wear; I must look sophis and mature.

3:50Pm

It's a good job I did my makeup in English because I can't decide what to wear. I think my knee length skirt is quite respectable but I don't have anything to wear on top. I know I'll raid mum's cupboard.

One minute later.

Honestly my mutti doesn't have anything that doesn't show half you nunga's. I have finally decided on my own purple shirt with my matching ballet flats. And I am transformed and ready to meet Dave's family mad.

"I am off to meet the in-laws. Don't expect me back anytime soon I will probably be adopted by them." I shouted mutti and vatti just nodded and went back to arguing. Honestly hurry up and get divorced already!

6:00Pm, Clock tower

I can see Dave walking towards me; he's doing his crinkly smile. I may have to snog him forever.

"Hello Kittycat how's it grooving?"

"I am a bit nervous actually Dave." I said. He held his hand out for me to take and I linked my fingers with his.

"There's nothing to get nervous about. Well my Vatti maybe but he should be alright up until midnight and then... well I don't like to say."

"Dave." I say. Dave just gave me a really gentle kiss and assured me it would be alright. We were walking a different way to normal I said

"Dave this isn't the way to your house is it?"

"Aagh well I may walk a longer way normally just so I can walk you home." Awwww how sweet, but slightly stalkerish of him. We were on a street of quite big houses that were all different colours. Dave walked up to a big red one and led me inside.

"Hello family. No need to great me but I must warn you I bring my girlfriend so strike out the ceremonial oxen and lavish her with gifts she's worth it!" Dave shouted, and then another female voice shouted

"Oh does she advertise for L'oreal?" And then the voice laughed for ages and said "Oh I make myself laugh! I'm coming down dearest brother!" Dave's so called sister came down the stairs. She was older than Dave and was very pretty, infact she looked alot like him. She shook my hand and Dave introduced her.

"This is my big sister Sarah." He said and she smiled then Dave said "where are the elderly loons?"

"Upstairs. In the loft I just let them be. They were snogging it wasn't nice."She said "Well nice to meet you Georgia I'm going to catch up on my correspondence" And she started dialling on the phone. Dave walked up the stairs and I followed him. There was a ladder and I could here giggling coming from the room above it.

"Parents please stop all snogging we are coming up."

"Oh Dave is she here? Me and your father have found some great baby photos of you bring your girlfriend up so we can meet her." Dave sighed and started climbing the stairs and I climbed up behind him.

Half an hour later.

Dave's parents are a laugh and half. I have seen numerous pictures of him as a chubby toddler and I must say it is vair amusing.

"And that's when I bought Dave an iron. He was such a little housewife."

"Mum!" Dave groaned.

"Yes I remember that because I wanted to by him a rugby ball, I didn't want him to be soft." His dad laughed. "But we've come to expect that now." Dave rolled around on the floor. Ha ha and I thought my elderly loons were bad.

"Do you want some tea Georgia?"Dave's mutti said I nodded and she climbed down the stairs.

"Anyway Kittycat shall we go to my room?"Dave said

"Ooer Kittycat hey? Dave I used to have a similar nickname for your mum it was bunnykins."

"Dad."

"Yes?"

"Shut up." Dave's vatti laughed and went back to looking at photos. Dave showed me into another room it was really bright blue and he had drawn all over the walls. I looked all over the walls I laughed on one he had written Georgia 4 Dave. Dave saw me looking at it and said

"I know, I'm too nice aren't I?"

"Yes your viar much too nice Dave. Although you seem a bit naughty what did you do with the fire alarm?"

"It wasn't anything naughty Sexkitty I simply wanted to test the alarm for mine and others around me safety." I laughed.

"Well I quite liked the idea of dating a bad boy."

"Since when did you get all flirty Gee? Now snog me quickly before my mutti comes in wanting to show you my first lock of hair or something." I leant forwards and gave him 5 with just a hint of 6.

And that's when Sarah came in.

"Erlack, I'm going to come in and pretend I didn't just see my brother doing that." She left and shut the door. Then came back in again.

"Oh hello Dave how's it grooving? Dinners ready by the way."

"Ok thanks Sarah we were just coming." And Dave got up and followed her out. What a strange family they were. Terrible actor's aswell.

Dave's mutti has made spag bol and no one looks surprised. It is vair peculiar.

"So Georgia do you go to Rigleys?"Dave's vatti asked

"Yes I do."

"I used to go there. How's slim? still got 3 chins?" Sarah asked. I laughed

"No. She's got about 10 now."

"Aagh those were the days sitting back and watching Herr Kaymer's ankle swingers." I giggled like a err giggling thing. Dave's family were so vair cool with knobs on.

At home in bed

Dave walked me all the way home. It was alot longer than I thought he must keep very fit walking me home everyday I will tell you that for nothing. I may move in with Dave as soon as I can get away from the elderly loons. I think his parents will be cool with it. Because they seem vair cool people.


End file.
